Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 so far

Despite all that had happened in my life, despite all my failures, despite all my achievements, the injustices I had suffered or inflicted on others, I had remained alive until the last moment, and could with all certainty, affirm ;

Goodbye 2010.
It has been a tremendous year to me.

My day was good, let night fall.
Welcome new year of 2011

Hopefully, it will bring a joyous journey ahead, bring prosperity and good health to everyone.
Amin...

Thursday, December 30, 2010

kemaafan

setiap hari kita tidak lepas berjumpa dengan makhluk bergelar manusia.
sebab tu mar yang bekerja di site selalu cakap pada suami " mar lagi suka "dea"l dengan equipment daripada "deal" dengan manusia "

hati mar selalu terluka kerana makhluk manusia.
mungkin mereka kurang  deria sensitif.
mar tak salahkan mereka kerana kekurangan diri mereka.
tapi mar selalu risau kalau mar kalah dalam tekanan perasaan dan juga ujian dengan manusia.

apabila usia semakin menginjak dewasa, dan pengalaman bertemu dengan pelbagai manusia, mar belajar banyak perkara tentang manusia.
Manusia makhluk terpilih kerana manusia unik.
dan mar selalu ingatkan diri mar bahawa mereka datang dalam hidup mar sebagai penyeri dan mematangkan pemikiran mar.
tanpa pengalaman sebenar, sudah semestinya kita tidak akan sepenuhnya faham tentang karektor manusia.

dulu-dulu mar selalu memikirkan sangat tentang perangai manusia , (macam mana nak tolong dia, macam mana nak bagitau dia supaya berhenti sakitkan mar, nasihatkan dia supaya dia sedar ...) memang bagus sebenarnya kalau mar sempurna dan kuat untuk jadi insan berjiwa kental macam ni.
tapi... biarlah mar melalui peringkat pertama dahulu..
alasan ? kepala mar pernah sakit sangat dan hati tak tenteram bila terlalu fikirkan sangat masa dulu.

cara mar gunakan sekarang untuk berdepan dengan manusia begini?

1. Mula -mula mar doa banyak banyak supaya Allah jaga percakapan mar,tenangkan jiwa mar, dan mar fokus sepenuhnya untuk mengutarakan pendapat dan menjaga tingkah laku.  Tiada gunanya jika kita pun bersikap seperti mereka.

2. Kemudian, mar akan cakap perlahan-lahan dengan diri mar " tak pelah, maafkan sahaja mereka. Kehidupan ini terlalu indah untuk menghabiskan masa dengan perasaan amarah . Mungkin satu hari nanti mar akan bersahabat dengan dia, ataupun mar memerlukan pertolongan dia " .

3. Bila mar dah tenang sepenuhnya.. mar akan memberi senyuman pada mereka. Syarat utama : Senyuman perlu ikhlas kerana senyuman ikhlas tidak pernah menipu. Insha allah, bila kita sudah melepaskan semua tekanan, hati kita akan kembali tenang.

4. Berdoa semoga satu hari nanti, dia akan sedar tindakannya itu, tuhan memaafkan mereka dan hubungan kita insha allah akan kembali mesra seperti dulu.

Kenapa perlunya kemaafan ?

Tahu tak kenapa pentingnya kemaafan? Mar pernah diberitahu oleh seseorang dahulu ketika mar selalu sakit-sakit perut dan pening -pening kepala. Dia tanya mar, " Mar ada tak berdendam dengan orang dan masih belum lagi memaafkan kesalahan dia?"

Mar terkedu sebab ada beberapa nama dalam fikiran mar ketika itu. Dia nasihatkan mar, kalau mar nak sihat dan umur panjang, maafkan kesalahan mereka. Dia juga kata, insha allah sakit perut, dan juga pening-pening kepala mar akan hilang.

Mar cuba kemudian walaupun pada mulanya agak susah. Sampai nangis-nangis pada Allah supaya paksa diri mar maafkan mereka.... ALhamdulillah.... sampai sekarang mar jarang sangat sakit perut dan pening-pening.

Lama-lama, bila ada kejadian menimpa mar, mar praktikkan semula cara-cara di atas.
Sebab, mar rasa mereka tiada tempat di hati mar untuk memikirkan tindakan mereka.
Bagaimana sekalipun, mar perlu bekerja mencari rezeki, menjadi isteri, menjadi rakan, menjadi sahabat, menjadi anak kepada mereka yang menyayangi mar.

Hidup kini...mar berdoa bahagia selamanya  =)

kasut mar pakai ni dah koyak rabak. =(

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

kata-kata di dalam hati

aku tersenyum kerana aku tahu apa ku mahu,

aku berdoa  agar Tuhan memakbulkan doa ku...

Sunday, December 26, 2010

u made my day

these 2 beautiful photos were captured by brilliant photographers. i simply love it.


Friday, December 24, 2010

AKMAR

on 24: 12: 2010 at 1533

akmar is a day older and wiser,

she managed to hide all the pains and digest them and put a Garfield smile on her rounded face.

her life is so beautiful and she never neglect any single parts of it.

she still has lots of love to be shared with her loved ones.

her husband, her family and friends are the most precious thing in her life. money can never replace them.

she still hate to wear high heels, but due to obligation as a female and to reflect some of her feminine side, she still wear them occasionally.

She disgust seeing people being bullied and tortured and will fight for them whenever necessary.

Deep down in her heart, she knows that she love cat, but she is not brave enough to take the risk to touch this cute creature.

thus far,these are just some  part of akmar that i understand well. Enough said.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Hitam Putih Masa Depan

"Lihatlah sekitar alam
Dunia luas terbentang
Langit tinggi kebiruan
Pohon-pohon kehijauan
Hembusan bayu yang menyegarkan


Dengarkan di sana-sini
Beburung riang menyanyi
Berbunga aneka warna
Sumber kedamaian jiwa
Mensyukuri nikmat Maha Esa


Begitu berharga kehidupan ini
Bagi mereka yang tahu menghargai
Mengapa terdorong oleh perasaan
Kalau turutkan hati diri menjadi korban


Tiada yang dapat lari dari masalah diri
Hadapi lah dengan tenang
Tiap cabaran yang datang
Atasinya dengan keimanan


Sekadar buat renungan
Untukmu teman tersayang
Hitam putih masa depan
Sendirian menentukan
Hidup ini usah persiakan"

Mar suka sangat lirik lagu ni .
Bila mar terlalu down dan hampir punah harapan, mar cuba kenangkan kembali apa yang Allah telah beri dalam kehidupan mar. Alhamdulillah, buat masa ni Allah telah mempermudahkan banyak urusan mar..cuma ada beberapa sahaja yang masih belum dimakbulkan. Mungkin Allah sedang merencanakan sesuatu yang tidak dapat Mar fahami .

Alam ini terbentang luas bersama penghuni-penghuninya. Warna-warni kehidupan ada yang kadangkala menceriakan hidup kita dan ada juga yang singgah dengan kesedihan sementara.

Mar suka cakap sementara kerana manusia selalunya mengambil reaksi sesuatu perkara dengan menggunakan nafsu untuk mentafsirkannya, tetapi setelah beberapa ketika akal fikiran yang waras akan dapat memberi alasan yang kukuh sebab perkara tersebut menimpa kita dan juga hati yang kembali tenang dapat bernafas dengan lega. Keceriaan kembali menjelma. Kerana itu kesedihan adalah sementara. Kebenarannya, hidup ini umpama roda..

Hajat dan impian mar masih belum terlaksana. Jalan luas masih belum terbentang. Tapi, dari satu aspek, perkara yang jarang difikirkan mar dan suami dimakbulkan Allah dahulu. Mar tertanya-tanya kenapa? Ketahuilah kehidupan ini penuh rahsia dan tanda tanya. Dan Mar di sini mahu sentiasa bersangka baik dan positif terhadap apa sahaja yang berlaku dalam kehidupan mar. Hanya Allah yang Maha mengetahui.

Mar sesekali tidak akan putus harapan dan akan sentiasa berdoa semoga doa dan impian mar akan dimakbulkan Allah. Mar selalu ingatkan diri Mar bahawa jika apa yang Mar doakan itu adalah perkara baik dan membawa manfaat kepada diri Mar,keluarga dan juga insan sejagat, insya allah tidak akan lari ke mana impian mar selagi nyawa masih dikandung badan.

Mar nak kerja sendiri......

P/s : dah lama nya Mar tak menulis.. Baru perasan.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

YEAR END SALE at House of Lady Sephia

Assalamualaikum dan selamat sejahtera semua.

Tahun 2010 bakal melabuhkan tabir tidak lama lagi. Team House of Lady Sephia mahu bersihkan semua item dari awal tahun 2010 sehingga pertengahan tahun 2010.

Oleh itu, sepanjang bulan ini sehingga 31 december 2010, House of lady Sephia akan membuat jualan murah !  dapatkan mana-mana item dari HOLS dengan harga yg paling berpatutan sekarang!

terdapat item :

1. baju
2.skirt
3.bag
4. baju kurung

bolehla lawati link seperti di bawah ini k :

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=105266552865957&set=a.105266189532660.7912.100001478385823#!/album.php?aid=7912&id=100001478385823

jumpa anda semua di sana!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

We will never forget that date

We booked ticket to visit my sister at Penang just to know when we landed safely at Bagan Serai airport Abang Fuad received an enormous number of missed calls from hospital and his colleagues. It’s absolutely tragic and I thought it would change everything henceforth; it's true indeed.

I did loads of things to put his mind aside for a while. His best mate at hospital has been slashed 4 times just when he is ready for work. The scene happened in front of his house; the so called ‘gated community housing area’ at seri kembangan. he immediately collapsed on the road while his hand hanging on the ground while few other fingers separated from its original position. His brain was slashed too  He is in ICU till today and has been hospitalised since that date...

Honestly I had fun spending times with my beloved sister at penang, to accompany her and see her work place, to be exact a factory site under construction. it’s big and to me it’s quite dangerous place for a lady. But, insya allah by God’s will she will just be fine there.

But, something is missing and different since the day of Friday; 26/11/2010. My prince become quieter everyday and he become conscious on the environment and especially on my whereabouts. He kept calling me when I am at work, hugging me when I am home and he doesn’t want to be far apart from me for a single minute. I know this must be a crucial time for both Ramesh and my dear boy Abg fuad. Both of them are much closed and that was the reason I know Ramesh from out teh tarik sessions, or when I visited Abg Fuad at hospital or when I attended their formal function. Ramesh has a big character and it is easy to recognize him even though you just met him for the first time. He put smile at the right place and he gave nice words to cheer you up and to stay positive in every aspect of life. He is my husband’s best friend and I never missed out every single story about both of them whenever my boy came back from work.

My husband is just similar to my character and I believed that was the reason why we were attracted to each other. We don’t have many friends because we are so afraid of losing one. The pain will remain and thorn our heart apart... Abang Fuad visited Ramesh at hospital twice since we were back on Sunday night. I could not follow him and Dr Suren because I don’t have a pass card. It is a privilege card to all doctors to enter any hospital and to its emergency room at any time.

Today, Ramesh has opened his eyes and staring at him with a full question mark by the look of his eyes. He was in a state of confusion. Abang Fuad said he was struggling to say something but none of them did Abang Fuad understand. Abag Fuad’s head of department mentioned that the opportunity for Ramesh to continue practising medical and doing surgery is very small. And that made my prince laid on my shoulder and asked me to hug him until he sleep. This is going to be a nightmare to the whole department, to his family, and especially to my dear husband. Abang Fuad shared room with Ramesh and they even lunch together every day. They studied together to further their master, and they support each other when one needed encouragement. And today, his head of department direct Abang Fuad and their whole team unit to pack Ramesh's belongings into few boxes and they locked the room. Abang Fuad has been moved to another room with his other colleague. Oh...pity .. =(

But believe me, Abang Fuad has changed a lot since 26/11/2010 and we want to appreciate life better today. I don’t know what to say more because I am scared if I said wrong words to describe him.

I am hoping that Dr Ramesh will recover fast and brighten up the world once again since there are so many love here waiting for you to be back. .

the three musketeers: abang fuad, ramesh, and azmi

Sunday, November 21, 2010

abang fuad...

kalau lah boleh mar ceritakan tentang abang fuad di sini, mar akan gunakan masa berbulan-bulan untuk describe abang fuad.

selama ni mar sibuk mencari topik untuk menulis; mar tengok awan cari ilham..konon-konon akan dapat idea dan topik yang paling menarik.. rupa-rupanya topik yang paling menarik ada dekat sangat dengan mar... tapi sayangnya bukan semua mar boleh ceritakan di sini. hubungan kami terlalu istimewa dan mar rasa tidak manis untuk dikongsi bersama dengan semua pembaca..

mar sangatlah lain daripada lain dan hanya keluarga dan kawan-kawan rapat sahaja yang faham dan boleh tahan dengan mar. mar sangat pentingkan ' my own space dan my quality of time'... abang fuad faham mar sepenuhnya.. hari ni mar rasa terharu sangat-sangat kerana beberapa sebab. semasa mula-mula perkahwinan, kami masih lagi dalam proses mengenal hati budi dan sessi adaptasi dalam perhubungan.. mar kadang-kadang terfikir yang mungkin abang fuad masih lagi menggali dan cuba memahami mar walaupun perkahwinan kami mencecah 2 tahun...

hari ni, abang fuad buat sesuatu yang mengalirkan air mata mar.. ( oh, mar susah nak menangis ) . bukan kerana abang fuad sakitkan hati mar, tapi tindakan dia untuk menenangkan mar .. dari jauh mar curi-curi  pandang abang fuad dan ucapkan kesyukuran ke hadrat Ilahi.. Allah itu maha adil bagi setiap hambanya... dan Dia ketemukan mar dengan seseorang yang betul-betul memahami mar.....

Tidak ada kata-kata terbaik yang dapat digambarkan untuk menerangkan hati mar sekarang.. tetapi mar bersyukur sesungguhnya kerana diberikan pinjaman di dunia seorang teman hidup seperti abang fuad..

dialah jantung hati saya......
'semakin hari semakin saya jatuh cinta pada awak' ....

Friday, November 19, 2010

Raison d'ĂȘtre

I don’t write frequently now because I enjoy reading more.

The more I read, the more I feel tiny, and lack of knowledge.

They wrote about other people, thoughts, politics, mother nature, brain vs heart, history, money etc..

It’s such a big and huge topic and it moved and inspired me in many ways,

Hence, I will be invisible for quite some time.

Not that I fancy to close this blog but rather to have adequate amount of time to read their brilliant manuscript and articles.

I want to develop an interest in life as I see it; the people, things, literature, music; the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.

Life is like a live telecast of theater, everyone has their roles to play. I want to enjoy and amuse myself of this extraordinary life. There are many things to be explored, many things to be laugh at, and many ways to help others and so forth.

I am sitting next to a projector and I am watching a clear view of the plays. The light is off and the journey has begun.

Monday, November 15, 2010

a wonderful weekend

We had a photoshoot session last saturday.
It is required for our next coming project with House of Lady Sephia.
It was not a formal session thus we can do  whatever we like to.
I enjoyed every single bit of it. =)

When I was still studying at UIA, i will drove off after class or weekend with kak tila (my bestfriend after raihan) and jog for 2 rounds around the park. The park is so huge and you don't have to cramp with other people or stand under people's armpit. We had our target on that time; to get our ideal weight. =) . It's a healthy routine and it put a smile on our face every time we completed 2 rounds of that huge track. This place reminisced back my teenage-life and I would love to come back here anytime of the day.

The photographer was my long lost high school friend who is in progress of opening his first ever studio. He loves so much photography and get inspiration from his late uncle who was a great photography through his eyes and his perception. I never had the chance to meet his late uncle though. Nevertheless I love those who are not afraid to take challenge and be outside from their comfort zone to pursue their dreams.



Hence, the photography session went very well and I enjoyed spending my one whole weekend with my dear haida while the photographer captured our lovely moments. Haida is a very bubbly human being. She can talk from sunrise till sunset.. She helped a lot to boost up my energy level by giving encouragement to me . The result was quite sataifactory so far when we saw the first 4 photos from tazbay studio's photo album. More photos will be availabe for view henceforth.

p/s : I personally love the bubble-blow gizmo. I think I should buy more onwards. =)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Do you miss reading my boring topic??

There is a huge thing happening to me and Abang Fuad...and I am not going to burst it out here.

 I am letting myself to be imperceptible from the world around me.. I want to feel it..be happy in my own secret...

I am soundless now..when the time comes you will know it yourself..

P/s:
15th November is just around the corner.
2nd year of marriage with abang fuad is a enormous  blast to me.
I am mature and I am more confident to dive more into every challenges ahead of me.
 I am super excited now and I better shut my mouth tight!

oh..monday blues has strike me

Monday, November 1, 2010

ayah, ibu, suami, ayah mertua,ibu mertua ( sedih sikitla) tidak membantah

Alhamdulillah...

Lega sikit.. (banyak kot) kepala ni selepas luahkan pada semua impian hidupku.

Aku semenjak kecil semua keputusan kebanyakannya ditentukan oleh ibu bapaku..

Aku pernah mahu menjadi pembaca berita jam 8 malam di TV3, ayah mengamuk di rumah.. Mestilah mengamuk kan, hidup glamour penuh pancaroba.. (tapi papa, mar bukan nak glamour, mar suka membaca dan menyampaikan)... Ok, xpelah sebab aku faham kini memang mencabar jadi orang yang dikenali ramai walaupun niat itu baik. Terima kasih papa..

Kemudian, aku mahu jadi peguam..Serius..Ramai sangat yang sokong termasuk sedara mara, rakan taulan dan sudah semestinya ayah dan ibuku. Kakak saudaraku " kak Ros" sempat bawa aku ke mahkamah pada hari dia sah menjadi peguam di mahkamah. Aku mengalir air mata kerana aku membayangkan ibu dan ayah akan menyaksikan aku pada waktu hadapan menjadi peguam membela undang-undang negara.. Ceh..drama betul..
Apabila keputusan SPM keluar, aku berkobar -kobar mengisi semua form untuk melanjutkan pelajaran dalam undang-undang. Keputusan Sejarahku memberansangkan kerana aku betul-betul minat subjek Sejarah. Ketika sekolah aku paling suka membuat pembentangan Sejarah di hadapan kelas kerana aku mahu mereka gembira mengetahui bahawa Sejarah itu amat menyeronokkan kerana kita menggali masa lampau. Keputusan kemasukan ke Universiti sudah keluar. Aku berjaya memasuki UIA dan ditawarkan kursus Kejuruteraan. ..... ??? !!! hehehe.. Ye, satu waktu dulu aku pening-pening lalat dan tergamam kerana aku tidak pernah terfikir mahu menjadi Engineer.. Never in my life! Alhamdulillah.. kini aku masih bertahan dan bekerja dalam bidang kejuruteraan . Yang penting dapat keberkatan ibu dan ayah. Cukup !

Tapi, bila dikenang kembali...kita imbas lagi 20 tahun yang lepas... aku amat meminati subjek Matematik. Terlalu suka hinggakan aku sanggup menangis di kaki mama kalau satu hari mama tak bagi aku latihan Matematik. Mathematic fan club ! Aku merengek minta papa belikan aku jam digital pada usia 4 tahun kerana aku suka sangat pada nombor. Nombor selalu mebuat aku teruja. Aku suka nombor genap. Lebih tepat nombor 0 di belakang.Nombor genap 0 dibelakang selalu mebuat aku puas kerana padaku nombor itu cukup sifat kerana dijaga oleh pengawal sasa di hujung jalan oleh abang SIFAR.

 Apabila aku set jam untuk bangun awal pagi, aku suka set pada jam 5:59 pagi kerana aku mahu pastikan aku bangun sebelum nombor kosong menjelma --> iaitu 6 :00 pagi .  Minat aku yang sangat fanatik pada nombor membuatkan hidupku sangat dekat dengan jam. Akmar dan jam seperti tidak boleh dipisahkan.Seingat aku, sehinggalah hari pernikahan aku, aku mandi, tidur, berenang, bersukan, memasak dengan jam. Aku perlukan jam dekat padaku. Padaku, emas dan berlian boleh dicari ganti tetapi waktu tidak dapat diputar kembali. Benda yang paling berharga perlu sentiasa dekat denganku. Sehinggalah aku berkahwin dengan abang fuad, abang fuad minta jasa baikku untuk tukar jam digitalku kepada jam ala-ala cinderella --> jam ada jarum. Tapi yang paling best, Abang Fuad belikanku jam berjarum yang tiada nombor!! Huhu, aku membiasakan diri agak lama untuk teka-teki jam berapa sekarang?? Sebab tu, untuk mejaga hati abang Fuad, aku perlu sentiasa dekat dengan Handphone ku kerana di situ ada angka digital.. :-)

Disebabkan aku penggemar nombor, apabila aku naik darjah satu aku minta mama untuk membelikan aku popcorn daripada makcik cantin sekolah mama. Aku mahu jual di sekolah. Mama was-was tapi mama tewas dengan pujukanku. Aku akan mengheret satu beg plastik hitam besar berisi popcorn kedalam van bas sekolahku dan kebanyakan kawan-kawan sekolahku tidak mahu duduk sebelahku. Aku akan datang awal ke sekolah dan berjalan dari satu kelas ke satu kelas dengan menawarkan senyuman kelatku kepada kawan-kawan ku dan juga kakak dan abang senior di sekolah. Alhamdulillah, taktikku berjaya ! Sekiranya masih berbaki dalam 10 ke bawah popcorn ku, aku akan mengheret plastik beg hitam berisi popcorn ke bilik guru. Aku akan menawarkan muka bersemangatku dan teruja dengan mengatakan popcorn ku adalah popcorn paling sedap di dunia. Cikgu-cikgu membeli helahku dan akhirnya popcornku semua pasti akan habis terjual.

Aku bukan sahaja menjual popcorn, aku akan menjual alat tulis di sekolah. Pelajar-pelajar akan mencariku sekiranya mereka kehabisan pemadam, ataupun mencari kelainan untuk koleksi alat tulis yang menawan hati. Aku sangat puas sekiranya duit daripada hasil jualanku ini menjadi duit poketku ketika sekolah. Ibu dan ayah mampu memberiku duit, tetapi aku suka begini... bekerja keras mencari rezeki..

Apabila kini aku sudah bekerjaya..kadang-kala aku bertanya pada diri tentang kepuasan bekerja.. Aku amat takut pada mulanya untuk mengutarakan pendapatku kepada suami, ibu dan ayahku.. Aku punya cita-cita... Mungkin berbeza daripada apa yang aku lakukan kini.. Ia mencabar dan pasti akan memberikan cabaran kepadaku... tetapi apalah hidup tanpa cabaran kan? Aku mahu harunginya dan mengharapkan keberkatan daripada orang sekelilingku. Orang pertama yang aku bagitahu ialah suamiku. Dia mengizinkanku dan menaruh kepercayaan padaku. Alhamdulillah....  orang kedua yang aku bagitahu ialah ibuku.., mama tak setuju pada mulanya dan dia hampir meletakkan ganggang telefon. Aku terkedu dan aku tersedu-sedu. Aku masih ingin meyakinkannya yang aku perlukan kepuasan dalam membuat apa yang aku kerjakan. Tanpa kepuasaan dan keterujaan tidak mungkin kita akan betul-betul berjaya dalam apa yang kita lakukan. Kemudian, aku call papa. Panjang lebar aku bercakap untuk ringankan beban di otakku. Aku hampir tidak memberikan papa ruang untuk bercakap kerana padaku papa lah harapanku untuk membuatkan mama sokong pendapatku. Papa memberikan aku kata-kata bijak bestari sesuai dengan kedudukannya sebagai seorang ayah. Isi yang paling penting disampaikan oleh papa ialah " Solat Istikharah" dan papa akan bersama-sama denganku dengan jawapan yang diberikan Allah. Lega hatiku.....

Kemudian aku message abah ketika abah di pejabat. Aku tanya pendapat abah dan abah kata apa yang aku mahu lakukan ini banyak cabaran tetapi abah masih menyokongku. Alhamdulillah. terima kasih abah. Dan tadi, lutut kakiku menggeletar untuk bagitahu mama KL tentang cita-cita dan pendapatku. Jawab mama, 'apa-apa sekalipun kita hanya boleh buat satu benda dalam satu perkara. Barulah kejayaan itu senang diperolehi. Keputusan perlu dibuat dan ada yang perlu dilepaskan".. Huh.. alhamdulillah... mama KL pun setuju walaupun agak terkilan.. Takpe-takpe, yang penting, keredhaan telah dicapai. Oh, tadi mama JB called. mama JB kata dia pun dah redha dengan apa jua cita-cita dan impianku. Mungkin papa telah berjaya memujuk mama kan ??? Huhu, Thank you papa. I love you so much !!!

Sekarang, aku hanya perlu bertenang dan menantikan signal daripada Allah. Kita hanya merancang, tetapi Allah jualah sebaik-baik perancang... Insya allah. Semoga segalanya dipermudahkan Allah. Amin...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

gambar

sambil-sambil tgk TV ni, sambil-sambil mar tengok gambar item di HOLS page. ermm, facebook ni mmg minimize kan kualiti gambar la kan. sedih jer tengok mutu gambar di facebook...

















Tengoklah. kalau kat sini nampak jelas je kan setiap details. :-( Mar dan haida sebuk bekerja. xsempat nak jaga blog HOLS. cuma dapat maintain di facebook sahaja....

Jadi, untuk reader setia mar, inilah gambar sebenar yang diedit abang fuad dan kualitinya amatlah jauh berbeza di facebook.Kalau korang nak tengok dengan lebih detail, bolehla click pada gambar tu dan zoom in banyak-banyak, mesti puas tengok!

Kepada sesiapa yang tertarik hati sebab tengok gambar dan kualiti material baju-baju ni, bolehla tengok dengan lebih lanjut di laman facebook HOLS yang dikendalikan oleh "adik" mar ; Haida. :-)

kepada sesiapa yang berminat bolehla tinggalkan komen di bawah. mar akan bagi link pada anda nanti :-)

P/s : macam perlu maintain balik blog je :-(

Monday, October 25, 2010

My job is fantastic!

The title is purposedly to boost up my mood again; heh .

I was indistinct a few months back. I walked with closed eyes hence I walked slowly to avoid stumbling on a hard rock. There was extraordinary number of terms that I was not familiar with. It's ancient now.

I am not as good as other senior staffs here, but I am quite satisfied to be able to understand the system of work, project concept, technical part, soft skill knowledge etc. I like to venture out new things in my life hence I consider this job as fantastic!

I went to quite number of places and exchanges. I went deep into the chamber room underneath road. I have opportunities to configure Huawei radio (AG Softswitch) during training class. I had configured Ceragon radio previously and I have to say that Huawei's technology is more user friendly and easier to handle by referring to the manual. I went to the MDF room where they put hundred thousand of cables... this is the place for the source of your telephone, Streamyx, ITalk, fax service. Unifi HSBB source terminal is also available at the exchange. It will be delivered right to your home or office by using the optical cable. The speed is impeccable and reliable. You surely crave for a stable connection during browsing, e-banking, social networking, and do online shopping right, who does not?

But sadly, we have a strict rule here; no photo is allowed to be taken in the exchange. I cannot share my experience with my readers here, but one thing that I need to state here, we work really hard to provide you with the best service.

My colleagues? They are the most interesting person that I have ever met. They are dedicated, sincere in doing job, and hardworking. I learned something from them. Money will not completely provide you with a job satisfaction. Money cannot trade your happiness. Never. They are young and they are ambitious. I love to be among these types of people who can spread out the positive attitude. Now, I really can feel the spirit of team work; it's part of my requirement in searching happiness. Just one word of advice, it's pathetic to have to work because we have to earn money, but instead we have to work because we love doing of what we are doing 5 days per week.

I want to be optimistic in life and I love to believe in this idea. Life is too short to choose a wrong career. As of today, I love most of what I am doing now; to serve you better in wired line technology. I never put a specific target in my career; I just want to be sincere and perform my best in what I do because it's the root of happiness.Personally I think everyday is a new day and it successfully challenge me in certain ways.Maybe another 3 to 5 years ahead my mind will knock my heart to change a career path which I love at that certain point of time. Who knows..? I will try to listen to my heart and pray to Allah to bless my decision.

At that moment, my escapade will begin again with a new career... a businesswoman maybe?

Friday, October 15, 2010

sakit ok

mar suka sangat masak.
bila nak masak copy paste resipi dari internet.
hari ni konon -konon nak tolong mama masak, supaya dia rest. nak bagi suami, adik ipar, biras makan sedap2.

mar start masak dari jam 1 tgh hari.
sekarang pukul 4.

apa kes??
kenapa lama sangat ya?

skill x mantap lagi kot..
sekarang sakit pinggang gila-gila..
kejap lagi haida pulak nak datang rumah.
kami kena kira-kira stok dan ambil measurement baju...

tapi sakit pinggang gila-gila...

kalau ada rumah sendiri, hari-hari kena masak..
maksudnya pinggang.........dot dot dot

kita tampal keroyok yok !

Thursday, October 14, 2010

my decision

Usually when people tired, they sleep. When I am tired, I write.


But then, I paused a while, I don’t know what I should write today. My inner voice said I should write no matter how I feel now. I realized something has happened and changed my character...

I never realized that one day I could make my own decision. It was totally something out of my mind if you are referring to my previous life. Mommy always decide for me what I should wear, what I should do, how I should comb my hair, how I should  walk, what color is nicer for my skin etc. I never blamed my mother. She did what she thought best for her daughter.

I always feel satisfied being a follower and let people decide for me. I did not like to shop alone because I need people’s suggestion on what is best for me. Hence I would drag my sisters or sometimes my friends to accompany me and provide me with the best suggestion that they could give. Oh, I feel pity to myself when recalling back those time. I was helpless...

I constantly need assurance from people around me to the certain extent I would do what they thought best for me, I would wear what they thought looks good on me...I followed majority’s voice since I didn’t express my idea. I was so tiny in myself..

The time is over. I am not going to revenge on my past and point my finger to anyone. I should have been aware of my desire, my thoughts and have studied my potential before.. Since married to a busy man, I have plenty of time to decide on my own. I have to think the risk and the benefit of every decision to be made. The consequences of my decision will affect me, my marriage and my family, therefore I have to be extra careful whenever the situation arises and I have to make a quick and good decision.

I have been practicing it recently. The best decision is when it brings the highest benefit to us.

My colleagues and I have a field work tomorrow morning nearby Port Klang. It is going to be a long journey indeed. I have to be there sharp at 9 a.m. On the other hand, I don't want to sleep because I enjoy watching commonwealth games at astro supersport channel. The Malaysia team is playing badminton. Malaysia Boleh!

I know what I want now and I have decided it. I don’t feel sleepy but I have to sleep now. By calculating on the pros and cons, it’s best to sleep at this instant given that I have to wake up at 5 in the morning.

Hooray! I successfully made a best decision for myself!

The light is off. Goodnight everyone. Have a nice sleep.

Start counting sheep if you can’t sleep . :-)

~A letter with love~

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Maher Zain - For the rest of my life.mp4



A beautiful song by Mr Maher Zain.
This song is a picture of our love..
I am blessed to meet a person like you. You saved me from darkness and brought me a ray of sunlight
i am destinied to be with you..
And I want to thank Allah for open my eyes and see you..

"I praise Allah for sending me you my love You found me home and sail with me And I`m here with you Now let me let you know You`ve opened my heart I was always thinking that love was wrong But everything was changed when you came along "

"And theres a couple words I want to say "

"Chorus: For the rest of my life I`ll be with you I`ll stay by your side honest and true Till the end of my time I`ll be loving you.loving you For the rest of my life Thru days and night I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes Now and forever I...I`ll be there for you "

"I know that deep in my heart "

"I feel so blessed when I think of you And I ask Allah to bless all we do You`re my wife husband and my friend and my strength And I pray we`re together eternally Now I find myself so strong Everything changed when you came along "

"And theres a couple word I want to say "

"I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here Infront of me I strongly feel love And I have no doubt And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally "
"I know that deep in my heart.."

P/S : This is truly indeed the most sweetest thing i've ever heard... Such an amazing voice and such powerful words

Monday, October 11, 2010

~ I am in love ~

Paulo Coelho is the name given to this man.. He has taken away my heart and my mind from his writing.. I just can’t stop from loving every single books he wrote..

He inspires me to be intuitive in writing, be honest on yourself, never put a limit to your ideas, brave enough to get what you want, don’t be ordinary but extraordinary.. I love the way he chose every words of the sentences and made them beautiful. I have read quite amount of number of books since I was young, but most of them I don’t have emotional bond that link us together along the story between a writer and reader. But, it’s different when I read Paulo Coelho’s books. He is truly sincere with his words on which certain level I almost cried, or mad when he successfully connected the story with my life.

He made me to think of pursuing my dreams, never be scared of failure since it’s the first step to success and believing in your quality. Every human being is special; the only thing that makes us different is only the first step and decision we chose.

All successful people begin with a remarkable and fascinating story that leads them to success; same goes to Paulo Coelho. His parents have decided for him to become an engineer given that his father is a highly respected engineer; but he refused to become one. He wanted to be what he wants to; a writer even though he never get chances to get a formal lesson on writing skill. At 17, Coelho's introversion and opposition to following a traditional path led to his parents committing him to a mental institution from which he escaped three times before being released at the age of 20.

His determination and positive thinking never put him in a dark side where to blame his parents. He took that as a favor that has brought him to be a well-known and best-selling author worldwide.

I am now reading his novel; The Zahir, a book dedicated to his wife. His wife plays a big role to make it as he is now, and he only realized it when his ‘zahir’ disappeared. This book is about Paulo and his wife and I love when he is open to tell the truth and admit of the wrongdoings he made by having affairs with other women. His wife was the one who force Paulo to reach for the sky and to pursue his dream; writing has saved their marriage previously when Paulo found happiness and satisfaction. But when luxury and fame have surrounded you and you were lost in it, sometimes the most special person will be forgotten.

“His search for her-and for the truth of his own life- takes him from South America to Spain, France, and Croatia and, eventually, the bleakly beautiful landscape of Central Asia. More than that, it leads him into a new understanding of the nature of love, the power of destiny and what it really means to follow your heart”.

Paulo Coelho inspires me to fulfill my dreams, taught me well that life is a journey and not a destination, learn to become an honest writer and to appreciate and have a mutual understanding with your love partner.

Oh my, I am so in love with all your books! Paulo, could you please just don’t stop writing and continue to bring happiness to my world? =)

Paulo Coelho


Sunday, October 10, 2010

english vs bahasa melaysia

Several readers have left messages in my facebook inbox saying that they love more my writing in english rather than bahasa malaysia. They want me to write more in english instead of bahasa malaysia/


I took that as a compliment. I believe they don't mean to hurt me or other people who write in bahasa malaysia. They make my blog as their platform to improve english language. Honestly, I have to remind everyone that the main reason I write in english is to establish my writing skill in english, hence the idea to make my blog as their reference is not 100% correct. There are many bloggers out there whom I love to read and visit once in a while. You can try to search on the left RIGHT hand side of this blog and click on one of them. They write beautifully and they always inspire me to write better.

My husband has once said to me to continue writing in English, and now several readers have requested the same thing too.

Hence, let us prepare the knowledge and improve our skill in writing in English! The traffic light is green and my engine starts now. Vrooom!

did i make the right decision?

It’s Sunday and it's freaking hoot! . Sometimes when it's too hot, it could probably change people’s mood and behaviour, same goes when it’s too cold. I can’t tolerate extreme weather since young. That’s why we just lingering around at our home and decided not to go out on weekend.


Ani came by for family visit and sleeps a night at my house. It seems the most natural thing to see your sibling face to face, had a sleepover time with her, and be able to reminisce back all our childhood time. We had a great time and we laughed like we are playing with a group of clowns. I love that face, the face that has been familiar to me for 25 years old.. My marriage and her career in Pulau Pinang have put us far-flung from one another, so as my little sister who is studying in JB. The two of them are my all time favourite people that I can’t miss to meet whenever I have spare time.

We talked about our career, and she seems so delighted and thrilled on her current job. I am the happiest person to know that. While she asked me the same question in return, I had a big cloud on my head and it’s quite blur..What does it mean? Frankly speaking, I am not very sure of that.

I love to face adventure because it pushes up my adrenaline to the highest peak. I love to find satisfaction in whatever I do and I want to do it the best. Perfection is vital and so as happiness in our career. In YTL, I had both. I had established my position and I had a vast knowledge on wireless technology since from the top ranking of managers to my colleague level, we instilled the habit of sharing ideas, knowledge, and new technologies. Even though I am the only woman in the team, I never felt being outcast among them. The bond is strong that allow us to do the impossible become possible. We were small in number, so that I had a various opportunities to challenge myself in different part of job scope. I trained the senior staffs on IP, on the radio, how to plan network etc... I was an important person in this wimax project.

Suddenly, at one point I said to myself, “I have to challenge myself and it’s time to move out to see other opportunities out there” Alhamdulillah..A company took me in as its new staff. I am very grateful to be part of of this project, but I hardly find my satisfaction in what I do now. There are many reasons which I believe I should not state it here... I don’t like office politics since it will kill people’s chance to develop their inner potential (I am not talking about myself, it’s the scenario I am facing everyday), I am hoping to get the chance to do a hands on task and get a serious and tough job that will brutally force me to do the best.

Mr Tan Min said that I am allow to come back anytime to YTL and they open the door for me whenever I want too. I still have Mr Tan Min’s phone number; it’s not a big problem for me to click ‘call’ on his number and say “ hey Tan Min, please take me again cause I love so much to be in your project” ...but, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again.. I want to finalise this decision. I have to think in many aspects before I make the crucial decision. A good career and happiness should come along together in order to make ourselves a successful employer. But on the other hand, there are other points and aspects that we have to dwell on. I am married to a doctor and I mean a busy doctor who is dedicated to his patients and hospital. One day we will have children Insya Allah and at that point, I have to balance on between career and children. If I spend way too much time with career, I miss out the time when my children grow.


Hrmm, I think I am thinking too much whiles all upcoming events and things are the things that are managed by God. Better if I let the time lead my future finding and decision. The time will reveal everything soon. Let’s wait and see what it will drag me into. Hopefully, the path will be easy for me. Insya Allah

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Proses penuaan itu sesuatu yang pasti

Bekerja di tempat baru ni memberi mar peluang untuk berjumpa dengan pelbagai jenis manusia daripada pelbagai peringkat usia dan juga pangkat yang berbeza. Alhamdulillah mar dikurniakan peluang macam ni. Mar suka kan cabaran yang baru untuk mar lalui setiap hari. Mar suka sangat jumpa orang sebab setiap manusia memberi mar 1000 pengajaran tentang kehidupan.

Ok lah, berbalik semula kepada apa yang mar nak sampaikan di sini. Apabila mar jumpa orang-orang baru, mar selalu terfikir, " mesti banyak kan pengalaman hidup dia..muka dia nampak berusia".....haaaaaa..inilah yang mar selalu sangat fikir setiap kali mar jumpa orang baru.  Macam mana mata kita boleh bezakan sama ada orang itu berusia/matang atau tidak? Mar sampai sekarang pening kepala..

Mar selalu tenung orang lama-lama sangat terutamanya kawan-kawan yang dah lama mar tak jumpa. .Mar nampak kawan-kawan mar muka sudah matang selari dengan usia sebab muka mereka nampak berbeza daripada kali terakhir yang mar lihat. Bila mar tengok lama-lama, mar masih belum nampak sebarang kedutan di muka, mereka sepatutnya masih sama sampai sekarang.Tapi apa ya yang membuatkan mereka kelihatan berbeza dan lebih matang? Maaf ya kalau semua bosan dengan tajuk dan tulisan mar kali ni. Mar hanya lah perempuan yang berusia 25 tahun. Pada pendapat mar, mar sekarang di peringkat di mana sel-sel tubuh badan mencapai tahap klimaks sebelum melalui proses penuaan yang bakal berlaku pada bila-bila masa sahaja. mar perlu berdepan dengan perubahan ini dengan hati yang tenang dan bersykur dengan setiaap perubahan yang Allah berikan untuk kita sentiasa beringat pada hari kematian. Satu hari nanti Mar juga pasti akan tua, muka berkedut-kedut dan berjalan terbongkok-bongkok. Tapi bila ya ia akan bermula, ataupun ia sudah pun bermula??

Dulu-dulu bila remaja, mar selalu juga belek majalah Hollywood. Mar tengok sebilangan artis veteran membuat pembedahan plastik untuk mengembalikan seri wajah dan keremajaan...kononnya...  Tapi, manusia tidak sehebat dan tidak mungkin menyaingi Pencipta untuk mengembalikan usia wajah. Mereka kelihatan lebih hodoh daripada wanita-wanita yang tua 'gracefully' . Senario ini amat menyedihkan kerana ia seperti sudah menjadi trend di kalangan masyarakat dunia. Walaupun mereka membuat seribu perubahan di muka, tetapi kita masih akan dapat melihat garis-garis dan riak wajah tua di muka mereka... Tapi macam mana ya kita semua dapat tahu?? Mungkin melalui tangan dan garis-garis kedut di leher.

Ok, persoalannya di sini, untuk mereka yang berumur sekitar 20-30 tahun, kami masih belum mempunyai garis-garis kedut, tetapi mengapa kami sudah kelihatan matang berbanding 2 tahun sebelum ini? Di manakah bezanya? Mungkin di bawah mata, garisan di tepi mulut, pipi yang jatuh, hidung yang jatuh ? Ada tak sesiapa di sini yang mempunyai ilmu memberi penjelasan di sini? Mar suka sangat untuk kupas lagi isu ni kerana ia adalah sesuatu yang menarik untuk dipelajari dan difahami.

Mengapa ya mar tiba-tiba tertarik untuk membincangkan isu ini? Semalam abang fuad buka album mar  ketika mar berusia 19 tahun. Mar masih di matrikulasi UIA, PJ. abang fuad belum pernah tengok album tu. Dia amat terkejut dan tersenyum. Abang fuad kata mar nampak muda dan ceria. mar tanya balik mar sekarang nampak tua ke? Abang fuad jawab mar nampak matang dari dulu. Mar minta Abang Fuad berikan  penjelasan lebih lanjut, daripada sudut mana abang fuad boleh nampak perbezaan? Mar jadi lebih teruja untuk tahu!Tapi, Abang Fuad tiada jawapan untuk soalan mar... =( 

Daripada kecil lagi mar suka untuk menantikan saat mar menempuhi alam penuaan, untuk mengalami sendiri kebesaran Allah. Pada pendapat mar, orang dewasa sangat perlu dihormati kerana mereka telah melalui pelbagai peristiwa yang mematangkan mereka. Mar terlepas peluang untuk melihat ayah dan ibu mar melalui proses penuaan, mar terlepas peluang untuk berada setiap minit bersama mereka untuk melalui proses itu. Tapi apa yang pasti, setiap kali mar balik untuk menziarahi mereka, muka mereka pasti akan kelihatan lebih tua daripada sebelum itu. Hati mar sayu sangat...Muka yang satu waktu dahulu kelihatan sangat tegang, badan yang kelihatan sangat tegap, kini semuanya sudah beransur berubah.

Mar harap dengan proses penuaan ini akan mejadikan kita semua semakin matang dan sentiasa mengingati kematian yang semakin menghampiri kita.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Happiness from my perspective....

How do you define happiness?

I have had browse through google and found many meaning of it. I am not saying that I against all the definition of happiness in the internet. But it seems they tried so hard to define the meaning of it and make it looks so theoretical.

The pursuit of happiness is one of the basic elements of human existence. We want to be happy. Happiness is a common goal that everyone strives to attain. So why are so many people unhappy then? Now it looks very completed don’t you agree?

If you are in the same boat with me, I always observed that people usually described happiness through a window instead of the things inside their house; it means that they portray happiness through someone’s life and they are still unsatisfied of what they already have. That is where the hatred or adoration comes from. The desire to achieve what others have has become the main priority. It is like the most important thing in the world nowadays to show off what you have so that you are in the same league with everybody.

Do you know why did I brave enough to say this? It is because sometimes it happens to me as well and I am sacred if the idea of ‘new happiness’ to be permanently implanted in my mind. I will force myself to throw it away whenever it comes across my mind. Please God, forbid me to even dare think about it again in future.

Once when I was small, there were few predicaments took place in our family. I am not going to say I was the unluckiest child in this world even though some people who witnessed it might say so. They believed of what they saw; but they did not bond with my emotional and my situation hence I would say they all were wrong. See, this is the example of people looking from a window but not from a real picture. I am proud to say that I am happy with my childhood moment even though there were ups and down. It made me and I believed my 5 other siblings to understand more about family, people, adapt fast with any situation, and cope with stress well. It makes our bond stronger; the wall is thicker every day since we put our trust first on each one of us.

Happiness should not be forged, or imitate from others. You don’t need money, wealth, big network that you have or position to make you happy. An undeniable reality is that permanent happiness cannot be achieved except by believing in God. You have to believe and feel it deep down from your heart, and then you will understand that everything happened for a reason. If you think you want to be rich and success, be it, and strive for it together with tawakkal to Allah. Do it in a good way and never grow hatred in your heart on others achievement.

When I entered university, I thought happiness totally in a wrong way and was trapped once in that life for a period of time and I am not proud of it. I lost way when I forgot Allah. It was only a fake happiness when I realised that true happiness and content lies within Islam itself. Alhamdullillah, I have found my way back...

So friends, please I beg you ...always be thankful to Allah. If you think you are the unluckiest person in this world, think about Palestinian and their intifada, think about our friends on North Pole and South Pole who died due to strong wind, extremely cold weather with heavy snowflakes that smashed away their living places, think about the unfortunate person who lost faith, etc... There are many examples to be stated but unfortunately this page will not be enough for it.

Do not compare yourself with others, or to talk bad about others, or maybe to think that you are better than others because none of it will bring a true happiness for yourself. What you have to do is to live peacefully and positively, respect, love and care others, and always be thankful to Allah..

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

kereta, jalan raya, dan sesat...

Mar suka bawa kereta sorang-sorang dan explore jalan baru.

Bila mar sorang-sorang dalam kereta mar rasa damai sangat. Itulah satu-satunya masa bila kita berada di dalam kereta, menuju ke suatu destinasi, risiko untuk kemalangan, jenayah, dan juga risiko untuk sesat yang sentiasa ada terutamanya melibatkan jalan baru yang kita masih belum arif lagi.

Pada pendapat mar, inilah masa untuk mar setiap masa bertawakal dan berdoa kepada Allah untuk memberi perjalanan yang mudah dan selamat sampai ke destinasi yang ingin dituju. Di dalam kereta juga adalah masa yang terbaik bagi mar untuk berfikir, mengemaskini jadual harian mar, melihat  tingkah laku manusia jalanan, dan juga menngagumi kebesaran Tuhan yang Maha Kuasa.

Mar paling suka tengok awan sebab kalau dilihat dari sudut artistik, pasti pembaca semua akan dapat melihat pelbagai lukisan indah yang hanya dapat dilihat oleh mereka yang berfikir...

Mar sekarang bawa kereta ke pejabat. Sebenarnya mar suka naik LRT, sebab  mar boleh bergerak lambat sikit dari rumah, mar boleh membaca dalam LRT, mar boleh bersenam semasa berdiri, mar boleh tengok ragam manusia dan membuat mar lebih bersyukur.... tapi satu perkara yang mar perasan, mar tidak ada masa untuk diri mar sendiri sebelum sampai ke pejabat.

Cuba bayangkan, kita akan berada selama 8 jam di pejabat, dan tidak semua akan mampu produktif dan ceria sepanjang 8 jam di pejabat. Jadi, mar rasa dengan adanya masa untuk mar dengar berita terkini sebelum sampai ke pejabat, mar seiring dunia dengan berita mutakhir. Mar pun boleh dengar lagu kegemaran mar dan beri kata-kata semangat pada diri sambil melihat awan indah di pagi hari. Damai....

Huhu, ada satu lagi benda yang Abg Fuad belum tahu..Mar taknak dia risau: sshhhhsshh...Mar suka sangat explore jalan baru walaupun mar tak tahu jalan-jalan di KL. Mar tak kisah kalau mar sesat. mar selalu rasa excited bila Mar sesat. Sebab bila Mar sesat, mar akan tahu Mar perlu push diri Mar untuk jumpa balik jalan pulang. Pada pendapat mar, pengalaman dan kegagalan adalah pengajaran terbaik untuk setiap insan. Bila kita sesat, kita akan berusaha sehabis baik untuk jumpa jalan pulang, dan secara automatikya peta jalan raya akan disimpan rapi dalam minda dan kita boleh mengagak pelan topografi bila-bila masa diperlukan nanti.  Mar rasa mar tahulah kenapa..dulu-dulu, bila kanak-kanak yang lain sibuk bermain barbie.. mar di rumah akan main LEGO. Dari kecil mar teramat suka main LEGO. Lagi susah bentuk yang mar perlu buat, lagi suka mar nak siapkan bangunan, kereta atau robot.

P/S : Semalam mar sesat lagi semata-mata nak cuba jalan baru..Shhhhsshhh..abang fuad tak tahu =)

siapa lah ni ya =)


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Akmar makan banyak

sedang mar kunyah xhabis-habis dari pagi tadi, mar tanya diri mar "apesal la mar ni makan banyak sangat? Tak kenyang-kenyang ke?" .Mar memang pelik sebab dari mingu lepas mar makan banyak.

Tiba-tiba baru mar teringat, mar dari kecil kalau tension atau cuba sedaya upaya nak lupakan sesuatu atau alihkan perhatian mar pada perkara lain,... mar akan cari benda untuk makan. mar tahu habit ni x sihat..tapi untuk minggu lepas dan minggu ni hati mar berdebar-debar. badan rasa sejuk je. sebab tu kot mar makan banyak!

Mar redha sahaja dengan apa keputusan. Ketentuan itu semua kerja Allah, kita hanya mampu merancang dan berusaha. Mar harap walau apa sekalipun keputusan, mar akan terus tabah dan kuat. Yang penting, bila dah tahu keputusan, mar boleh tarik nafas lega dan BERHENTI MAKAN DALAM KUANTITI YANG BANYAK.

ok kerja ada banyak menimbun sangat ni. Mar dah mula rasa bersemangat sangat sebab mar dah banyak kerja. Korang pun tahu kan, mar ni suka bangat kerja!!

weehuuu..GTG.!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

tarikh tu

doakan mar ya semua.
doa kan mar...
semoga doa mar,suami, ibu, ayah dan seluruh keluarga termakbul..
amin...


P/s : rasa emosi sangat. tapi mar tak boleh stress =(

jatuh cinta pada baju kurung

selamat hari raya kawan2!
Harap-harap  mar tak terlambat untuk wish semua. cuti yang panjang baru-baru ni  mar terlalu sibuk dengan aktiviti yang terlalu padat. Daripada hari Khamis sebelum raya sampailah hari Isnin 20/September/2010 . Belum ada satu hari lagipun mar sempat berehat =)

Oh, mar ni sebenarnya xberapa suka sangat pakai baju kurung, rasa rimas, susah nak gerak. Tapi tiba-tiba masa raya baru-baru ni, mar jatuh cinta la pulak dengan baju kurung! Rasanya pergi mana-mana pun mar macam nak pakai baju kurung. Mar macam nak tambahkan koleksi baju kurung cotton. Dulu-dulu baju kurung cotton ni pada mar macam sesuai untuk kanak-kanak comel je...tp bila mar sendiri yang pakai..mar rasa seronok sangat! baju kurung cottton ni mar rasa sejuk sgt bila pakai. =) Susah nak gerak tu lain cerita lah!

ni masa kat Melaka dengan Intan (Baju beli siap)


masa adik ipar mar kawin hari Ahad lepas (Baju ni sahaja yang tempah)

Masa hari raya pertama. Sbb abang fuad nak juga warna sama ,kami cari baju kurung ni satu Malaysia. hihi (Baju beli siap)


masa malam hari raya pertama. terkejar-kejar nak jumpa mama and papa untum salam & bermaafan
(Baju beli siap..opppss mar yang jual baju ni )


Ni masa nikah. (Baju beli siap je..)


Masa adik ipar nikah kat Kelantan. (baju beli siap) Dengan adik nurul aka anak angkat mar. hahaha.

Abg Fuad rasanya mesti pening kepala sbb mar dah ckp dgn dia mar nak buat koleksi baju kurung. nak jadi mcm Ana Rafali. hehehe.. lepas ni mar kena belajar main gitar la pulak kan sayang ;-) . 

Pada pendapat mar, walaupun agak susah la sikit nak gerak dgn baju kurung ni, tapi mar dapat rasakan keayuan perempuan melayu sikit bila pakai baju kurung ni berbanding dengan baju-baju yang lain..patutlah mama dulu-dulu selalu nampak ayu bila pakai baju kurung. mama nampak cantik je setiap masa dengan koleksi baju kurung dia yang penuh 2 almari tu.Terima kasihla sape-sape yang cipta baju kurung ni ya. Memang sesuai sangat untuk dibawa ke mana-mana dan juga untuk ibu mengandung.

Minggu ni mar nak terjah mana-mana kedai yang jual baju kurung cotton! Tak kisahla baju kurung moden ke, baju kurung pahang ke..mar dah suka sangat sebab kain sejuk dan selesa =I).. beli siap sudah sebab kat KL ni mar xjumpa lagi price upah menjahit yang cool macam kat JB. Kalau kat JB, upah menjahit RM50 tu dah kira mahal sangat dah tu.  Average RM30-RM40. Kalau kat KL ni , so far yang mar jumpa harga around RM90 untuk yang paling basic je! Ke mar kene belajar menjahit and buka kedai menjahit pastu????

Oh Baju Kurung...aku sudah jatuh cinta!


P/s : Mar suka baju kurung yang simple je.yang menggambarkan jiwa mar..

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Death...

Death is inevitable, irreversible, universal, and always unpredictable. Accepting this, you would think everyone would be equipped with first hand knowledge on how to deal with a death that invades your family circle. If you were to think that, then you would think wrong!

When we were in school, have our teacher taught us on grief? When death occurred among our schoolmates, did anyone talk about it to you?? No. Death is like a sacred topic. Basically what they taught was more likely on professional basis to let us equipped with the best knowledge to make us valuable on market for professional career. That is why while we are way too busy handling our routine or extraordinary life, we don’t know how to handle death when it occurs. When death took away our loved ones and family members, we are not prepared and the entire environment will be gloomy, depressing and everything would be in a slow motion.

People like to connect the dots to make everything rational. That is why we like to ask what, why, who, when, how on almost every scenario that is happening around us. As we were shocked to read and hear the news of the murder of a great businesswoman; The Late Pn Sosilawati, we were excited and thrilled to read newspaper or google it and be the one who knows the utmost hot stories on this topic and later chit-chatting and talk about it together with family and friends. That is natural since we are human, and human being like to make everything logical. When we see a photo, we will interpret of what we saw. We want to satisfy ourselves and make sense of what we believed on what the photo is about.

But, when death occurred among family members, closed friends or loved ones, we will again try to connect the dots of how does it happened, what caused his/her death, who are/is the one next to him/her during her/his final breathe. We want to figure everything out into every aspect and single details. When the reality knocked our door and death stole our closed ones, there are really no dots to be connected. We have to accept that we cannot be God, and everything has been written before the day we were born to this world, and soon it will be our day to face death. It’s a destiny that has been fated and promised by God, we will never know why, how, what, who, when it will happen.. and hence we have to be fully prepared to be well equipped with the preparation to face the other side of life that awaits us.. tick tock tick tock.. the clock is ticking, and we are minutes away from death.. Are you certain that you will be granted another minutes of life in this world???


P/s: My late grandfather has passed away on the 20th/ September/2010. He is my husband’s grandfather but I always treated him like my own grandfather. When I visited his graveyard yesterday, there was a question mark, full of unknown feeling, sadness, to know the fact that I just saw this face last week and now he is back to the Creator.

I cried silently and said to myself, “How if death occurred in my family, or touched my father or my mother? How prepared am I to face it one day? “To be unable to kiss their gentle faces, to kiss their smooth hands, to hug their once tough bodies, to see their faces, to hear their sweet laughter and encouragement….and what left for me are only the memories…

Can I have a box of memories to keep all the sweet and sad moments of them in the box? I don’t want to forget anything… sob sob sob

Monday, September 6, 2010

hati

saya harap hati saya lutsinar agar semua dapat membaca apa yang terkandung di dalamnya.


saya xreti berbohong, maka kadang2 mereka kata saya ‘naive’. tapi apa yang kita dapat bila berbohong? dunia ini seperti roda, bila kita berbohong, satu hari akan ada yang berkata bohong dgn kita. Saya tak sanggup...apa yang kamu nampak daripada saya, inilah saya seadanya. saya tidak akan mencuba menjadi sesuatu yang bukan diri saya...percayalah..inilah saya...apabila saya menangis..percayalah itu air mata saya yang diperah dari hati yang bengkak..

saya masih muda dan saya masih ingin belajar...didiklah saya dengan lemah lembut kerana saya suka dididik..saya tidak berbohong..jika kamu mahukan saya menjadi matang seperti kamu..tunjukkan lah saya jalan dan contoh terbaik.. saya akan mengikuti dari belakang..

saya diam..tapi saya pendendam..janganlah sakitkan hati saya kerana saya pasti akan membalasnya..maafkan saya jika terkasar pada kamu..bukan niat untuk membalas..tapi hati saya terluka parah..maafkan saya

saya senyum tapi saya menangis...ini sahaja yang saya reti berbohong. maaf jika kamu percaya kamu sudah merawat saya..

saya punya hati...setiap kata-kata kamu saya dapat memahami...dan saya punya kotak memori untuk menyimpan kata-kata kamu..bila saya terkenang kembali kata-kata kamu, air di belakang mata saya akan dipaksa untuk berjurai turun ..

saya harap saya tidak perlu bermain dengan ekspresi muka..tapi apa yang berlaku sekarang, saya tak mampu menanggung sendiri.. saya perlu teman untuk memahami dan memberi semangat supaya saya boleh kembali bernafas.. saya perlu kamu... saya harap kamu mengerti isi hati ku..

saya harap hati saya lutsinar agar kamu dapat membaca apa yang terkandung di dalam hati saya..

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

TAHAN DIRI JANGAN MENANGIS

...................................................................
malas nak tulis sbb tak nak ingat bila baca balik nanti.
apalah perasaan ni ye?
shoooshhh shoooshhhh go away!

Friday, August 20, 2010

HOLS to be closed soon

I have decided to closing down HOLS by the end of this year and will be focusing on my career. It's truely an enjoyable experience and has brought many lovely moments into my life. Unfortunately, it's difficult to drive while having conversation on mobile phone; and so do to my career. I never felt so good with my career until I joined this company. I can keep talking to my dad on phone from 5p.m till 6p.m and until I safely arrived home.. There are so many things that I want to explore here..and I think this is the best place to dig out my true potential

On the other hand, by putting my days and my daily routine packed with lots of work from day to night, I always feel terribly exhausted where I made all excuses from seeing my closed friends.. Now I realised, I am not normal to think way too much about all things but not  myself. I miss chilling out with my dear friend, raihan, fadwa and alshama. I regretted to know that Fadwa has went back to Yaman eventhough she has left her number in my inbox. She wanted to meet me, and I had 1000 excuses ; business on weekend. Oh, that's so pathetic Akmar!! I hate myself for doing that to my best friend!

Business is good when you do it full time. If you work full time and do business part time, you won't success and you won;t find satisfaction in doing it. I have realised it now. My new job, require me to travel a lot and to be prepared to be back late due to meeting with all vendors and higher level of managers. I have to be prepared mentally and physically if I want to be a successful employee, and I am dreaming to become one. Hence, while having an important meeting, and receiving messages from customers asking when to deliver their items might be distracted sometimes. I know my limit well; I am not a type of person who can manage  2 works at a time. I have to decide to finish the most important task first, then only I can continue to do the other. I feel sad to turn everyone down; my friends and my customers and I don;t want to be involved in this feeling way longer anymore.

In order to pursue my dream career, I have to make a crucial decision... and I have made one. I could foresee that if I continue doing 2 in 1 job at a time, I would be sinking deep down into Mariana Trench and no rescue team would be able to save me afterwards.

Hence, please enjoy the sale and promotion price at HOLS  everyone!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Hello??

Weehuu! Ramadhan Kareem everyone!Let’s welcome ramadhan with wide open arms! Mind me for my long vacation. =) That’s just simply a cheap excuse and everyone won’t buy it I guess.

If you could smell from my previous entries, you will definitely know that I am finally over with YTL and moved to a company that was on my ‘must –get-it-list’ since I was at Uni. I started again as a new employee even though I have about 1 year experience. Oh oh..I don’t mind it at all ! seriously! The tasks, the technology, the equipmentsand the people I am dealing with everyday are totally something new to me. Everything seems alien, and the atmosphere is different. This is great since I love to try new things and I think I should take this opportunity to challenge myself to be an extraordinary person. I always believed, by being in a new place, we will refresh our energy, generate more outstanding ideas, expanding our circle of friends and network ,and hence will develop a great satisfaction feeling that is good to motivate you to be a better person.

Oh, I always feel I am alone in blogging world.. no one here to cherish me..to give good advice to me. Theoretically I have a beloved parents in-law and an undeniable loving husband..but practically..deep inside me..i always feel alone..hubby is too busy to help needy patient...I won’t let him to ever have to choose me over his patients..mama and abah(parents-in-law) have lots of things to attend to, and their yearly calendar have been fully booked by too many programmes.. and mama and papa(my parents) are just too far away to see my sad face..or even to hear my shallow whisper while I am at my lowest point..

This is sad when I flash back my routine life. I work till late evening,and at night time I will take customer's order and update new stock and wrapping and packing the parcel for delivery,while during weekend I am way too busy to take new stocks and taking photos with husband and do some delivery again..It's like a yearly routine and I have become immune with the hectic life.. Somehow, I just realised; that's the real reason why I don't have many friends..and husband has become my bestfriend and my best partner all these while..

I am a person with minimum words and no expression. The best I can give you is my smile..Because I believe it will make you feel warm and happy.. I don’t like to repeat my sentence for the most part if it’s sad news. If it’s a good news, I don’t fancy to repeat it as well..

The greatest part of happiness is when you succeeded to hide it from everyone and people could still sense it from your blissful face which you will definitely fail to conceal it, because the positive charge that you brought have successfully spread to everyone. And it was the main reason why I started blogging; to share my inner thoughts, to unlock myself and to be free. Writing always bring pleasure to me, it’s like asking my inner voice to tell me what’s really going on with Akmar, and to do mental check-up to screen my mental status. So far, I think I still recognise me when I read back from my very first entry. =)

And today, I received an overwhelming message from my silent reader. She left the message in my inbox and said how my writing has had gave her motivation to start again her life with a new spirit. I read quite a number of blogs which I love and adore so much. I love how they can produce such a beautiful writing that inspires me a lot. To tell you the truth, when I looked back at my blog, I saw a simple and plain blog with an ordinary life. And simple life suits me best. I am still thinking how she could get something from my writing....hrmmm...oh! and surprisingly I feel happy to find a new pen-pal.. someone who I believe has a connection with my inner voice..someone who recognise me through my writing.. after all..in blogging world..this is the real Akmar..and I am extremely happy. Thank you kak Aizy! I almost cried when reading your comment.. It’s just so sincere ..and I wish you to be blessed by God in everything you do and wish for in life.

XOXO

RAMADHAN KAREEM!

Monday, August 9, 2010

PENAGA CONDO

kami rasa nak duduk condo for safety reason. tempat ni sangat cantik. landscap area cantik dan sangat besar.sesuai untuk environment anak2..tenang daripada hiruk pikuk bandar.masalahnya tempat ni kat area batu caves..kalau nak keluar pagi2..jem kan..abang fuad nak kejar ke hospital ampang pun agak jauh..hrmmm.should we cancel it??











all the pictures shown above are of type B standard ;1004 sf. ours is slightly bigger than this,1209 sf. 3+1 rooms with 2 toilets.hrmm..2 toilets might not be enuff for our family i guess.. we were thinking to cancel the order due to the traffic congestion during morning and peak hour at batu caves..and there are no shopping mall nearby our area..maybe we should just cancel it off eventhough I have fall in love with the design and the interior..( it's a rare design and concept compared to few other types that we have surveyed) ...

Monday, August 2, 2010

kasih ayah tidak bertepi

salam sejahtera semua.
aku mahu menulis .
aku mahu bila aku sudah tua nanti, akan ku baca kembali nukilanku ini.
kerana ia penting...

mindaku ligat berputar..
untuk imbas kembali kenangan aku bersama ayah..
di tasik titiwangsa,ayah mengangkat aku, aku merengek minta diputar..
ayah masih muda persis hero cerita tamil yang kacak..
ayah sangat gagah dan amat menyayangi anak-anak nya..
segala hilai tawa terpamir pada garisan indah giginya..
aku ingat..aku anak yang paling gembira punya ayah yang paling penyayang..
kasih ayah itu begitu terserlah....
aku masih ingat..
                                                               
suatu masa pun berlalu...
angin kencang menghempas di tepian pantai..
ombak laut manyapa kami sekeluarga..
tempias terasa tapi kami redha..
kerana kasihnya kami kepada ayah..
tidak pernah sekelumit perasaan marah hinggap di dada kami..
kerana ia satu pengajaran paling bermakna bagi kami sekeluarga,
pengalaman ayah dikongsi bersama,
untuk lebih mengenal tuhan yang maha Esa,
kami gagah bangun semula,
kami sayang sangat ayah!

seingat aku, kasih ayah sangat istimewa,
ayah tidak pernah mendidik kami dengan wang ringgit, jauh sekali mulut aku meminta pada ayah,
aku kagum sangat dengan segala ilmu di dadanya, ayah paling gemar berkongsi cerita,
kasih ayah lain seperti kasih ibu,
ayah adalah sumber inspirasiku,

aku amat marah, hati aku sangat terluka, air mata aku mengalir,
bila ada yang mengata ayah..
siapa kamu untuk bersuara???
darah merah yang mengalir dalam badan ini, mata yang melihat perbuatan kamu semua, telinga yang mendengar kamu berkata, datangnya daripada sperma ayahku..
dia ayahku..kasihnya ayah tiada bandingan dengan segala kasih di muka bumi ini..
jiwanya yang halus amat menyayangi kami..
segala yang dibuat, tindakan yang diambil, kerana dia amat menyayangi kami..
aku bersyukur punya ayah sepertinya..
ayah ajar maafkan mereka

ayahlah matahari,
menyinari kami,
aku selesa berbincang segala aspek perkara dengannya. segala rahsiaku disimpan kemas oleh ayah. ayah ingat setiap butir bicaraku,gerak hatiku ayah mendahuluiku, dan ayah akan segera memperbetulkan segala kesilapanku..
kata ayah manusia ini hanyalah hamba yg Esa.
sebentar sungguh masa diberiNya.
perkara yang paling aku suka dengan ayah ialah; ayah sangat jujur memberi pandangan, dan ayah amat amat amatlah penyabar orangnya dengan caranya tersendiri..

ingatanku berputar kembali,
ayah selalu menyikat rambutku pada usia remaja,
ayah juga memotong rambutku menggunakan periuk; hasilnya rambut persis seperti periuk di waktu itu =)
ayah selalu membantuku membalut buku; aku akan memuji-muji ayah untuk mengelak membalut buku..bukan apa, hasil tangan ayahku 100 kali ganda lebih kemas daripada hasil tanganku,
ayah selalu berlatih badminton dengan kami,dan ayah pasti tidak akan memberi peluang untuk kami menang ( aku faham sekarang apa sebabnya ayah begitu : ayah mahu kami lompat lebih tinggi daripada keupayaan kami )
ayah tidak jemu mengajar aku memasak,
ayah selalu tersenyum mendengar keletah anak-anaknya yang becok,
ayah selalu membuat perhimpunan keluarga untuk usrah seisi keluarga ( aku rindu waktu itu )
ayah orang pertama yang dapat menghidu waktu perkenalanku dengan suamiku.
ayah sembunyikan air matanya di hari pernikahanku..=(
ayah selalu tersenyum bila kami adik beradik lengkap di rumah,
dan yang paling aku sedih..aku baru sahaja faham mengapa ayah tidak hadir di hari konvokesyenku...ayah mahu memberi laluan kepada suamiku dan ibuku untuk duduk di dalam dewan menyaksikan hari bersejarahku...ayah memberikan 1000 alasan untuk tidak hadir ketika itu.kini baru aku mengerti.. ayah manusia halus tindakannya..terima kasih papa..

aku begini pada harini, berdirinya aku dengan pemikiranku begini adalah kerana ayahku..
Doa ku hanyalah satu, untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik daripada hari ini, menjadi anak yang lebih solehah, kerana itulah impian ayahku..

P/s : aku amat takut untuk menulis tentang ayah tidak lain dan tidak bukan kerana ayahku amat berhati-hati bila mengeluarkan butir bicaranya....dan aku amat berharap dan berdoa agar aku dapat menjadi insan yang amat berhati-hati bila berkata.
 tetapi ayah, ketahuilah bahawa keluarga kita ini tidah akan menjadi seindah pelangi petang tanpa kehadiranmu yang mewarnai hidup kami. terima kasih tidak terhingga atas panggilan telefon tadi dan menyedarkan kekhilafanku dan keterlanjuranku dalam berkata.Air mata ini,bercicir jatuh tapi kerana ayah mahu aku tabah dan muhasabah, aku telan kembali sendu di jiwa . Aku mahu untuk berkata ini..."papa, i love you so much". You are the greatest father in this world.