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Sunday, October 10, 2010

did i make the right decision?

It’s Sunday and it's freaking hoot! . Sometimes when it's too hot, it could probably change people’s mood and behaviour, same goes when it’s too cold. I can’t tolerate extreme weather since young. That’s why we just lingering around at our home and decided not to go out on weekend.


Ani came by for family visit and sleeps a night at my house. It seems the most natural thing to see your sibling face to face, had a sleepover time with her, and be able to reminisce back all our childhood time. We had a great time and we laughed like we are playing with a group of clowns. I love that face, the face that has been familiar to me for 25 years old.. My marriage and her career in Pulau Pinang have put us far-flung from one another, so as my little sister who is studying in JB. The two of them are my all time favourite people that I can’t miss to meet whenever I have spare time.

We talked about our career, and she seems so delighted and thrilled on her current job. I am the happiest person to know that. While she asked me the same question in return, I had a big cloud on my head and it’s quite blur..What does it mean? Frankly speaking, I am not very sure of that.

I love to face adventure because it pushes up my adrenaline to the highest peak. I love to find satisfaction in whatever I do and I want to do it the best. Perfection is vital and so as happiness in our career. In YTL, I had both. I had established my position and I had a vast knowledge on wireless technology since from the top ranking of managers to my colleague level, we instilled the habit of sharing ideas, knowledge, and new technologies. Even though I am the only woman in the team, I never felt being outcast among them. The bond is strong that allow us to do the impossible become possible. We were small in number, so that I had a various opportunities to challenge myself in different part of job scope. I trained the senior staffs on IP, on the radio, how to plan network etc... I was an important person in this wimax project.

Suddenly, at one point I said to myself, “I have to challenge myself and it’s time to move out to see other opportunities out there” Alhamdulillah..A company took me in as its new staff. I am very grateful to be part of of this project, but I hardly find my satisfaction in what I do now. There are many reasons which I believe I should not state it here... I don’t like office politics since it will kill people’s chance to develop their inner potential (I am not talking about myself, it’s the scenario I am facing everyday), I am hoping to get the chance to do a hands on task and get a serious and tough job that will brutally force me to do the best.

Mr Tan Min said that I am allow to come back anytime to YTL and they open the door for me whenever I want too. I still have Mr Tan Min’s phone number; it’s not a big problem for me to click ‘call’ on his number and say “ hey Tan Min, please take me again cause I love so much to be in your project” ...but, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again.. I want to finalise this decision. I have to think in many aspects before I make the crucial decision. A good career and happiness should come along together in order to make ourselves a successful employer. But on the other hand, there are other points and aspects that we have to dwell on. I am married to a doctor and I mean a busy doctor who is dedicated to his patients and hospital. One day we will have children Insya Allah and at that point, I have to balance on between career and children. If I spend way too much time with career, I miss out the time when my children grow.


Hrmm, I think I am thinking too much whiles all upcoming events and things are the things that are managed by God. Better if I let the time lead my future finding and decision. The time will reveal everything soon. Let’s wait and see what it will drag me into. Hopefully, the path will be easy for me. Insya Allah

2 comments:

  1. Hi Mar..New follower of your blog.. :)
    hmm.. making decision which will affect the whole future life is a very2 hard & tough thing to do..
    Me myself, afraid to move out from the box. a thought which always lingers in my mind, "will I survive in the new culture? will I have the satisfaction , the same I already had?"
    I have the satisfactions, and I have the challenge.. but thinking about future, with husband and kids, (getting married this Nov) ,for surely it will affect my personal life, if I still work in current company. But as I said b4, too many things to think of.. Haish... :( wish I have the spirit like u..

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  2. salam farhana. It's my pleasure to welcome new reader of my blog, a blog about my simple life. I am glad that you know which one is the best for you.
    Life needs courage in making wise decision but don't forget that sometimes it requires us to sacrifice the most important thing in our lives in order to find balance and happiness. I believe you understand this better than me.
    I have made up my mind and now is facing new challenges at my new environment.
    It's your time now to make the crucial decision of yours.
    All the best farhana!

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