It’s 30th December of 2011 today. A day more before reaching to 2012.
I came late to my office. I waited till the end of Malaysia Hari Ini at TV3 Channel since today is the last day of Wardina Safiyyah to host at MHI. I have had grown up with MHI throughout my life. It’s one of my favourite shows and seeing Wardina Safiyyah leaving MHI might probably affect my morning routine onwards. Abg Fuad and I love to watch MHI during our breakfast time especially when it was Wardina’s turn to host the show. I admire the way when she speaks. She is a hardworking TV presenter. I acknowledged that she used to do homework before presenting any issues on slots given to her. Besides that, her ideas and points are always sincere that made me to have some sort of connection with her. I read in a newspaper that she will be continuing her study. Maybe this is the reason of why she is leaving MHI. After all, I am wishing her all the best in whatever she does because she is such an inspirational person to all women out there.
There are no sounds in my office now. Many are taking leave today to spend their time with their loved ones or maybe planning for holiday and leaving the remaining of us here in silence in our own cubicle.
To me, this is the best time to reminisce back of my own calendar of 2011. So far, I have grown so much this year.. not physically.. but emotionally. The best thing in this world is when you are able to take control of your emotion. Emotion plays a vital role in leading you to a ladder of success. Life is cruel and tough enough for you to feel all the negative feeling inside. The more tawakkal and redha you put in things you want to do or you have done the more peace and tranquil you will feel in your heart. Life is a game, hence we have to play the game well since there is an ‘obedient observer’ up there watching every step and every move that we made.
Looking back at those journeys that I have made in 2011, I was still in a state of incredulity. Yes indeed. Never had I in my mind that I would be very bearable with the pain that I had during my labor and my pregnancy. I am not going to say that I was unlucky since from the very first moment of expecting Fariss, I experienced lots of hardship in a way that only God knows how I feel on that time. There is no exact word to describe my situation on that time. However, I see it from a bright side. God loves me. That was why He tested me with all these difficulties to wash away all my sins. I remained in silence and shut my mouth tight even to my own mother who submissively asking me on a daily basis. I submitted my entire soul to the one and only God and pray hard to make that pain valuable. Having Fariss in our life today is like a wakeup call for us. He changed both of us in a positive way. I am blessed to be able to experience this journey.
There are many things that happened in 2011. Ani got hitched and married in 2011, I was given birth to a baby boy, we are officially parents now, and we moved in to our first house. I never thought that doing chores at home will take out your weight and leaving you shrinking in your own clothes. I am endlessly tired every day, but I am taking this as a life adventure. Life without adventure is like a gloomy day without sunshine. On the other hands, don’t forget that beautiful sunsets need cloudy skies. This is the life that I have chosen and here I am ready to take control of it.
2011 will be leaving me with many sweet moments and I cherish every single steps and struggling that I endured and also the decisions that I have made. Life is a train, not a train station. 2011 is just a transit for my upcoming journey. 2012 might be welcoming me with a happy or sad face, but above all I must be fully ready for the uncertainties waiting for me there. I am walking towards you 2012. Please be nice to me :)
PS : I feel awkward writing in English. I better write more in English in year 2012 before I forget how to write.