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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My lunch time

Sometimes when I have to work alone in the mdf (site project), I feel hungry. It’s a natural feeling.

I turned around, and they are quite a stranger to me. I always had a formal communication with them. Actually they are a group of senior staffs in this mdf.

Henceforth I decided to have my lunch at a food court. The arrangement of the tables is near to one another
I know I might have to wait the cook to prepare my order, so I went straight to My News shop to grab a magazine. I have 1 hour for my lunch time, so that is how I am going to spare my utmost time, a magazine for a lady and her meal which she ordered and paid herself. 

I sat quietly reading my favorite magazine, slipped through from one page to another page, and sporadically I whatssapp’ing  my best friend Raihan, when my favorite stall owner ring a bell indicating my meal is ready to be taken, I stood up and walked past a table with a group of ladies. “Tengok tu, dia makan sorang sorang je …”

Out of nowhere, and out of my normality, I answered back “ Kenapa ya, is there a problem, or maybe you nak offer I duduk sama sama ke?” … Oh my God, how could I have the gut to say that? And they, being all natural just replied with a cynical smile.

Seriously I am not a pessimist, a feminist or whatever that you have in mind. I am a tired working woman having my lunch, a lonely lady with no one to talk with from 8:30 am until 6:00 p.m, and of course a hungry woman.Rule number one: Don't bitch a hungry woman.

I was not quite sure what they were thinking of me, but to me it is normal for people to eat alone, just like when you eat alone at your home. Am I right? Or maybe this is an early sign of a pathetic life of a woman named Nur Akmar? At that certain moment and situation, I still consider eating alone to be one of life's greatest pleasures.

But to me I would rather eat alone and will always do that rather than to be normal and wanted to be accepted by the society with choosing to eat with a group of elders men staffs which I hardly know in personal.  Surely it's more tragic to spend time with someone just because you can't face being alone than to chew a nasi ayam or tomyam on your lonesome?  It is a freedom country, and sometimes we should just follow what our heart tells us. At least I don’t have to entertain other people and just enjoying my sweet time from 1 p.m. until 2 p.m. don’t you think it was a good decision, do you? 

Being a woman, there are so many rules to follow, the media told us to do certain things, we should follow this trend, this is the right figure for a woman, we should get that perfect smile, blab la bla,there are so many obligations and steps on becoming the most wanted woman in town..but sometimes they just forget to tell us that; to have inner confidence is an utmost priority in being woman.

I have watched once in a CNN channel; One of the women CNN interviewed said she skips meals on business trips if her colleagues aren't around, while another said she feels like people see her as "either a woman out to pick up men or a sad, lonely spinster" when she goes into a bar or restaurant on her own. Pathetic. 

I did not say in order to do that, you have to ignore all your friends, NO. I have a circle of best buddies and friends witch I love to spend my time with, but try to loosen up yourself a bit when you need your own time. You should be able to be happy when you need to be alone. Find anything that attracts you, such as hobbies, comics, books, motivational classes, movies of whatever they are. You can only love people best once you know to love yourself better.

Maybe I will be going to eat alone again, because the elders groups are devotee smokers, and I am not going to risk my health by allowing myself to inhale polluted air. But it might be more helpful to stop stigmatizing women who spend time on their own in the first place. As men seem cool to have their meal alone in a cafeteria, so do women out there.

Let us be free women..

"Maybe I'm just a weirdo, but sometimes I just love eating alone in restaurants. . 


  1. pernah kena. tp sy enjoy eating alone. 1 hour break utk tenang2. tak perlu hadap muka sesapa. makanan pun boleh digest baik punya.haha

  2. kadang kadang perlu macam tu. masa sendiri :-)