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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Inside every person you know, a person you don't know..



Hopefully this will be my last day of working on VPLS per EPE Spoke Peering at this R&D place so called my second office for this year. Phew, it has been a while, definitely.

Looking over the high glass window in this lab, make me thinking of someone, someone that I rarely speak about lately, someone that I miss dearly, someone who stole my heart previously..Nowadays ,he spent most of the days at hospital with his pile of books. May you be blessed by God with a major success in pursuing what you love to do  most my dear.

Next topic:
Being me; I understand myself clearly. It is just as simple as A. B, C.

I am quite an ordinary COMPLICATED woman. That is me.

Sometimes, some people also had their hard times to understand me. Been raised up in the family, I seldom being misjudged for things I have done, for things I spoke to them, for the way I talked to them, when clearly my main intention is the other way. I had to ask their forgiveness millions of times, begging them to forgive me, for the things I’ve done that have hurt their utmost feelings, when in truth, I did that to make them happy, to be proud of, or maybe I just don’t like to tell everything to others, because sometimes all that I want is to keep some little things only to myself..or maybe being independent or trying to be one is a new definition of guilty act to several people.. 

Being me somehow is not easy…..
Until he found me.

It happened out of nowhere, we were separated by thousands kilometers of distance. I was in the heart of Kuala Lumpur pursuing my study, while he was in the place, where the noble man Mahatma Gandhi was born who later became the inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. He was in India.

He first met me on the internet, thru Friendster. The rest were just like picking up the missing pieces of puzzle to get the picture complete.

He came to rescue me, when I did not believe in love anymore. He came to find me, when I was in my most terrified moment of life. He came to accept me, when all that I ever wanted to do was to run away from him, or any man in this world. He came to my life to love me unconditionally, when he knew clearly that I am a very complicated woman. He came to my life, and raise me up to more that I can be..

How could I ever not to love you? 

I am still dumbfounded by the great affection you have on me and the endurance to accept my flaws that you still have until today.

I know loving me has never been easy, it is always hard to tame a wild fire (sob sob sob) , but being there watching my back , listening to me and taking care of me when I was down, I can’t thank you enough . But most importantly, thank you, thank you for loving me the way you do. Because, nobody could love me the way you do. Thank you Abang Fuad..

I can see through my window pane the rain has started to fall, and a tear started up and wet my face.. 

I am sorry; it is just too emotional recently with the things happened around me..

I just want to appreciate this opportunity and moment of giving and loving each other.

Words will not be able to ever express how sorry I am for this, and I have profound regret and sorrow
for the multitude of mistakes and harm I have caused. Sorry for I accidentally hurt your feelings; strangers, families and friends..

* Bukan senang untuk buat semua happy. ... sob sob *

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